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Dear
Sisters and Brothers in the Lord,
Last week,
the Gospel of John told of the Lord’s first miracle at the wedding feast
at Cana. I would like to take a moment to speak about the celebration of
the sacrament of matrimony. I was reading a magazine a while back that
included the story and photograph of a wedding that had taken place in a
Catholic Church. It described how the couple had ‘strolled down the
aisle to the sounds of an Elvis impersonator belting out one of the
King’s hits!’
You may
laugh at, that but sadly such horror stories, which are all too common,
demonstrate that the church has gone overboard in a misguided attempt to
make weddings ‘user friendly’. The only guideline seems to be “if it
feels good and will help make the bride’s day, and then do it”.
There are
in fact guidelines and rubrics promulgated by the church that regulate
the celebration of all liturgies — ‘the work of the people’ —
including weddings. There are books like the sacramentary, the
lectionary, the wedding rite, and other official liturgical documents
which must be respected. Just as there are rubrics and regulations
directing the celebration of the Eucharist, there are rubrics and
regulations for the celebration of all of the sacraments — including the
sacrament of marriage.
The wedding
liturgy is not whatever the couple (or their mothers, or their friends)
think it should be. There is nothing in the liturgical books about unity
candles, or pilgrimages to the Virgin Mary, readings from The Prophet,
or Elvis impersonators!
Sometimes
it is claimed that these things are all examples of enculturation.
Enculturation does not mean doing anything you feel like doing in
liturgy. It means being sensitive to the culture into which the faith is
being introduced.
Some parish
priests and wedding coordinators are afraid to alienate couples who come
seeking marriage by saying ‘no’ to their requests for odd
inclusions in the liturgy. The feeling is one of ‘unless I do it the
way they want, they might leave’. But sometimes the church has to
say ‘no’, even when that is unpopular. The church isn’t guided by
individual whims, but by the Spirit of God.
It is
wrong to expect the church to fully reflect the culture in which we live
— one which often does not reflect the goodness of God. The love spoken
about in many popular songs today has little to do with God’s unfailing,
undeserved love for us, but rather a conditional kind of love, or
sometimes straight out lust.
Giving the
wedding couple — who often enough have little knowledge and experience
of public worship — carte blanche on their wedding day is a bad
idea. The church’s liturgical tradition has so much more to offer
than the latest gimmick ever will. It is wiser to give young people a
bank account than a blank check.
Let give
our hearts and minds to the Lord.- Fr. Joe |
